Confidence is an acquired skill. Despite what you may be told, no one is born with it.
Yes, some people are extroverts. But that does not mean they are confident. It comes with wealth, education, experience and status. But it does not come free with every first breath and smack on the backside.
It is also something that you can easily lose down the back of the sofa. This is something that is often hard to admit. Especially if you are seen as an alpha-male/female in your field and in your life. This, somewhat surprisingly for me, is where I come in.
Now, I’m not that hot on Latin. Wrong school. But I do know the phrase Quis custodiet ipsos custodes, or ‘who watches the watchmen/who guards the guards’. I have become the one who advises the advisers (or advisors, if you prefer). Never something I set out to do, but becoming trusted counsel is a journey rather than a destination.
I have sometimes tried to figure out why experts hire me to offer my inexpert opinion on their field, or why industry-leading names get me to calm their nerves and help plan their next move. It is not a service that I have ever advertised. It is just something that happens. Sometimes it is word-of-mouth, others it is the evolution of an existing work relationship.
I know that a lot of people are currently doubting everything, re-planning their career (often in their 40s/50s/60s) and looking at how their work can, erm, work now. So, I’m outing myself as someone who has been everything from alpha male shoulder to cry on to someone who can focus on re-invigorating your offer with you. Imagination, future-focus and ideas are a part of it. But openness on both sides is paramount.
It is not counselling, but it can involve some tough love. And no, I can’t tell you who my clients are. If you think this may be for you, then please do get in touch on firstname.lastname@example.org.